This will be a continuously updating list. To keep things easy, I’ll just add people as I refer to them, rather than all the potential people who are in my life.

Zee: Me. Zee Aitch Bully / ZHBully is a rather poor pun on my real name. But I kind of like it.

My parents: self explanatory. Although I am obviously my own person and I would never do something just because they (or anyone else) expected something of me, often they act as my conscience. Mostly I agree with everything they say, even if I don’t like it!

Tutor D: One of my university lecturers and course leader. I get on well with him and generally trust his opinions, though then when they’re negative, I end up taking his criticisms it more harshly. Something I must work on not doing!

Enise: Nurse Shrink (NS = Enise) at the university. She is part of the NHS and works a couple of days a week at my university’s Medical Centre. Using her official title would probably mean she would be google-able, and I don’t really want this blog showing up in legitimate searches for her!

She was helpful letting me know who I can see for help, and super helpful actually arranging it (like getting me started with IAPT and seeing Stress Guy). She was probably the only person who was both connected with university learning, and with medical side of things. I’ve found that on the whole, while tutors tried to be useful with work related stuff, they shy away from anything where the trouble is actually with me, not the work itself; while my doctors have tended to just treat the medical part of me, and ignore the reasons for why I am feeling the way I do, or what to do about the problems being caused by my feelings (which during postgrad had a lot to do with uni work).

SG: Stress Guy. The first IAPT person I saw. It was basically for guided self-help, though I wasn’t totally happy to talk to him on the phone, so my allocated six sessions dragged on over about 6 months, just seeing him when he had time and avoiding holidays. I got to the end of my allocated sessions and was clearly not much better, or probably worse. While I’m sure I’m better than if I hadn’t been seeing him, I often found it hard to put into use as I was probably already too exhausted to think, or else I couldn’t think of any other believable options, so became even more set on the negative thoughts being true! So he put me onto his colleague, Celine, who was a lot more helpful. I wish that I could have got through my 6 sessions with him more quickly, so that I could have been passed on to Celine quicker and maybe could have been getting more in depth help earlier, but  heyho I can’t worry about that now.

Celine: NHS Psychological Therapist (CBT Lady = CL = Celine). She’s a step up from SG. I saw her over the course of 3 months.  Whereas with SG I was meant to learn and then apply the thinking techniques, with her I could point out that although everything is all good in theory, if I could apply them in real life then I wouldn’t be sitting there with her then! She didn’t take offence at that and started showing me ways that I can actually believe in them. The last time  I saw her was when I graduated (yay!) from university, so it felt like a positive move, though ideally I could have done more work with her.

Boss: Director of the office where I work.

Boss-man: Not technically boss of the office, but manager of a lot of the projects I work on.


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