I am me. It is really as simple as that.

A tiny bit more:

  • I’m a student of landscape architecture. This seems to define me more than I would like at the moment.
  • Dancing (clumsily) on the edges of mental-ness.
  • I am searching for the elusive happiness, or at least to escape the sadness I can’t quite put my finger on.
  • Things that might get me slightly closer to being happy: flowers, tall ship sailing, mugs of tea, pink sand between my toes, zebras.
  • I have utmost respect for grammar nazis. I used to be quite good, but now a sentence can wind its way through my head over and over til I have no idea which way is up. So, I apologise now for misplaced colons, hyphens and lonely past participles.

This blog:

A place to splurge my thoughts rather than inflict them on my long suffering parents (who have requested a ‘mental-free summer holiday’, gee thanks, reminds me why not to discuss my concerns with them), or friends (for fear of them becoming ex-friends).

During the last few months of my university course, I used it to record my appointments with Enise, the university mental health advisor, and Celine, the NHS Cognitive Behavioural Therapy lady who visits my university, and the ‘homework’ worksheets and other things from those sessions. Through this summer (2011), I’ve been following on and off the Living Life to the Full.com (llttf.com) computerised CBT course, so sometimes I right my thoughts about those here. This is largely for myself, though I hope that if anyone is considering referring themselves, or have been referred, to their local IAPT service, then it might be useful to see the sorts of things that come up. Obviously (hopefully) it would be different for everyone. Though I certainly had little idea of what to expect and hadn’t heard of anyone else who had used the services before hand.

I’ve officially finished uni now (yay!), though I have given myself til Christmas to find a job, in the UK (Plan A), or at home (Plan B). If not, Plan C will kick in to play, where I will try to write my dissertation to bump my post-grad diploma to an MA, and hopefully a chance to travel (sail) a bit too. Fingers crossed I will be happy with whatever option pans out and I will be a happy little Zee throughout. Otherwise the stories here may get a bit more juicy…

My ‘branding colour’ (if I can have such a thing) is that jarring blue-ish turquoise round the edge (#62d0f6 to be precise). Reminds me of the blue waters around my home island.


I use a pseudonym, Zee Aitch Bully, as I don’t really want people who are specifically looking for me to happen across this blog, especially as I’ll be job hunting soon. I’d much rather they come across websites with my art and photographs and other more positive topics!

But if you happen to have come across this blog because of the content, and think you recognise me, do say hi! (I know I’m not that careful about covering my trail or clever with blurring details.) Chances are either you’ve only seen me joking about my feelings, so it will be a relief to me not to keep that up all the time, and perhaps the same for you, or else you’ve seen me in pools of tears, so not much of what I write here will come as a surprise!

Maybe sometime I will be able to lift my veil of privacy when I can be confident in myself, warts and all, and not worry a thousand times what people think of me in Real Life. But for now I’ve not reached that point, so I’ll just be known here as Zee.


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Els
    Nov 27, 2011 @ 22:43:14

    May I ask where your home island is?


    • ZHbully
      Nov 27, 2011 @ 22:54:32

      Vaguely paranoid someone will find this via an innocent place name search and identify me for the wrong reasons…32°N, 64°W 😉


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