I guess I knew it was coming. I don’t know where to begin on how to get anywhere close to completing my uni coursework project on time for Tuesday. And as it’s a bank holiday weekend, I don’t feel I can’t really email tutors asking for such major help like ‘how do I go about designing an eco-town?’. I’m ok on the principles. But trying to actually put it on paper/in CAD, where you can’t just put a rough line, it demands precision, I am falling down on. I can’t believe I’ve got to nearly the end of my course and still can’t do such a basic thing.

As I’m down to so few hours now, especially if I’m going to fit in sleep (I already forgot to eat supper last night),  I need to prioritise so at least I get the important bits done. But I don’t even know what those things are. And that really is what post-grad is meant to be about: to recognise, understand the problem and challenges, and plan to meet those (just to pass) and then to do it well and produce an inspirational plan, vision and strategy, all well back up and rationalised.

I’m failing at even doing the bare minimum, despite putting in what must be more than normal number of hours. I’m just not using them right.

I wish I hadn’t been so darn positive and optimistic last week. I could have had the opportunity to sit down with my tutor to go over what I needed to cover over the next few days and a plan for how to achieve that. But no, I was feeling good about work and life, and said I was fine and had everything under control. What an idiot. I wish that when I feel good I would know to ask, and know what questions to ask, to get hep and advice. Instead I seem to shrug off any offers of help when I’m feeling good, and then when everything goes pear shaped, I’m not in a state to ask for help, and then it’s too late anyway. Idiot.

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