So it seems I can’t even use WordPress properly. The post I wrote yesterday only ever made it into the drafts folder and not actually published. Oh well. It probably didn’t make much sense anyway, but I don’t have time or energy to re-read and fix it up now! It’s published as is.

Our End of Year Show opened yesterday afternoon. This is the report I sent to my parents yesterday. It seems rather depressed. But I’m not really any more excited about it today, so this is it, basically verbatim:

I guess it was good to see my work hung up. But now I’m going to wish I hadn’t bothered. There were employers looking around but I didn’t know how to go up to them and get them to come look at my work. One of the course accreditation members was there and he did ask me a bit about my work, and I found I couldn’t even explain it to him. Luckily at least he wasn’t interested in my work itself, just about what the course was about. But it didn’t give me much confidence to try to talk to the people we were meant to talk to. I feel like it was all a wasted rush trying to get everything ready the past couple of days, and now I need to find the energy from somewhere to get back to writing essays, designing an eco-town (and rationalising all the decisions I make) and drawing the construction details for the Bristol project.

I would like to just have a few days completely off from doing anything, but I don’t think I really think I have time for that if I’m going to realistically be finished for all my deadlines.

Here’s a picture of my boards in the eoys:
End of Year Show

End of Year Show

My model and sketch books were on the side. I had arranged my sheets so that I could have a low table in front for them, but there weren’t any left when I tried to put my stuff out. I’m hope people realised they went together. I also hope the guy in the photo wasn’t picking his teeth out of boredom with my work! Actually, I see he’s eating an apple. Though he still doesn’t look very enthralled! I put ribbon around my work to make it look tidy, as the edges of the bits of paper didn’t all line up very well. [Tutor D] just said afterwards to me that he thought I shouldn’t have done that. I can’t do anything right.
Today I didn’t set my alarm, as a treat. But now back to the grind stone trying to squeeze 3,000 words out of forests. Hopefully shouldn’t be too bad. Or is that just me being overoptimistic again?
Also, I sent an email to Enise, asking again about what she had suggested to me on Wednesday. I thought it was quite a straightforward email, though I haven’t heard back yet. I hope she isn’t trying to ‘discipline’ me into trusting myself and not having to keep re-asking for help. I know that is ideally what I should do, but in the meantime I really would like some advice, and preferably written down too!
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