1st Situation:
Trying to do uni work (when feeling gross and icky, and uncertain what I should be working on/focussing on)

Thoughts:

  • Exhausted = too tired to think properly/teary (belief: 99% true, 1% I’m just being silly)
  • Worried that I don’t know if my ideas and general layout are good enough to be of an A standard. Don’t want to throw all my time and energy into something that is never going to be more than average (belief: 100%)
  • Irritated that I’m probably spending unnecessary time just thinking about that (belief: 50%)
  • Upset not knowing whether to give in to exhaustion, which would just mean excessive amount next week, or try to persevere (which I’m doing at the moment). Though not sure I’m even working on relevant stuff that is worth putting time in to. (see above) (belief: 100%)

Alternative explanations:
Basically don’t know what to think. It is how I feel, so pros/cons aren’t relevant. I CAN’T TELL ME I’M NOT TIRED AND DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M MEANT TO BE DOING BECAUSE I DON’T!!! (only thing against this is at least I’m still awake and here…)

2nd situation:

Thinking about needed extensions for coursework. What that would mean on my references (ie that I’m crap with deadlines)

Thought:
Annoyed that I really don’t feel that these issues are me. Throughout school and uni previously I’ve been fine with deadlines. It’s like its something that I’ve just dreamt up recently. I wish they wouldn’t define me now (=upset, crying). 100%

For:

  • it would be true say I haven’t been able to cope very well with the deadlines on this course.

Against:

  • It’s not me, it’s stress/anxiety/depression
  • Medical reasons won’t be mentioned in references
  • -ve things for any reason don’t need to be mentioned in references

Belief:

While there are other explanations for needing an extension, heart of the matter is that I don’t seem to be able to cope with deadlines, and that is a fairly basic skill that one should have.

Also just worried that moving one deadline would domino fall on the next and the next and not solve anything. What I need is help knowing what I need to do to meet the deadlines on time! Just the problem is that how I feel right now (exhausted & upset) makes it really hard to go get the help.

Will ask for help tomorrow. And not care how I look/sound/feel.

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